My name is Peter. I am 22 years old. I have one sister and no brothers. I live in a room with a big TV next door to Billy. Billy sits in a wheelcahir and cannot speak. Sometimes I go to his room to play playstation. I don’t like people toucing me and I don’t like loud noises. My doctors name is Dr. Patel. On Wednesdays, she brings cupcakes she buys from Marys shop. A big chocolate chip muffin for me and a smaller blueberry one for herself. Mum doesn’t like Dr. Patel. She said I should have a proper Irish doctor. Sometimes Mum would take me out to the zoo or the cinema. When I was 17 years old I killed my father and thats why I live in this hospital.
In my room I have a large tv but not too large, and a light blue couch because light blue is my favourite colour. I keep all my books in the top shelf of my brown cupboard. Nobody is allowed to touch them apart from me. My favourite book is the Stephen Hawking book ‘A Brief History of Time’. Stephen Hawking is a scientist who sits in a wheelchair and speaks with a computer. Mum tried to read a brief history of time but she said it was boring. I think this is because Mum is not very intelligent. Mum prefers watching TV. Everyday I walk 1.35 kilometers and listen to a podcast about space. Someday, I want to go to the Moon to see what the ground there feels like. Neil Amstrong was the first man on the moon but he never said what the ground felt like. I know you need to work very hard to go to the moon. You have to train everyday and read lots and study the atmosphere so you don’t take your hemlet off and explode. I also like sitting in a car and looking out the window at sheep. Sheep are my favourite animal even though they aren’t light blue. The most sheep I ever saw on a car journey was 634 on a trip to Galway in 2006.
My mums name is Mageret but i’m supposed to call her Mum. Mum doesn’t have a job. She just drinks tea and watches televesion expect when shes with me. Sometimes we go on trips to the cinema or to the farm to see the sheep. Mum said that I shouldn’t talk about me killing my father because it might make me upset, but it doesn’t make me upset. It’s just boring. She says that i’m a hero because I stopped my father from hurting her. I don’t remember anything.
Billy is my freind but not my best freind. He can’t talk and sits in a wheelchair like Professor Stephen Hawking. I asked Dr. Patel why they couldn’t give him a computer so he could talk but she said it didn’t work that way. I didn’t know what she meant by this. When I become a famous astronout and earn lots of money, I’ll buy a computer for Billy so we can talk. I still like Billy even though he doesn’t talk. He never distrupts me and never shouts. I hate shouting so this is very good. When I buy his computer i’m going to make sure that it is not too loud.
It was the 22nd of Febuarary 2012. I like looking out the window at the people walking past. One man waved at me and I waved back. I did not know who this man was but I waved back anyway because thats what you’re supposed to do when someone waves at you. This man had a dog with him. I did not know the dog either. Mums red car came swerving into the car park and nearly hit an old lady. Mum always drove very fast even though I told her it was dangerous. She came in and hugged me. I hate people hugging me. Mum sat on the couch and read the newspaper. I sat there watching my favourite episode of The Walking Dead for the 22nd time.Mum knew I didn’t like when people talked during the TV show so she stayed quiet. When the show was over, she turned off the TV.
‘’Right love, I won’t be able to take you out this weekend. Gary and I are going for a little trip.’
Gary was Mums boyfreind. I didn’t like Gary. He drove a big fancy car and touched Mum far too much. He always called me buddy even though we clearly weren’t freinds in any way. I was glad I didn’t have to go out with them at the weekend.
‘Oh, and by the way, theres a man coming to see you on Saturday, all right?’
‘’Why?’’ I aksed.
I hated visotors and have told Mum this several times.
‘’He’s just going to ask you a few questions, all right, you just have to tell him what happened’.
I don’t exactly remember the night I killed my father but Mum told me. Dad was attacking Mum and I hit him over the head to stop him. Mum said that I was a hero. She hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. She had horrible sticky lipsitck on so after she left I went to the bathroom and washed it off. I turned the TV back on and flicked through the channels. There was not much that interested me apart from a quiz show. I liked quiz shows where I know the answers to the questions but so much when I didn’t. There was a young man with shiny teeth asking a very old lady with a pink cardigan a question.
‘’For 5,000 euro Mageret, what is the capital of New Zealand’
The old woman made a funny face.
‘Eh, I dont know , is it Sydney?’
The woman must be very stupid. I knew the answer was Wellington.
I hated meeting new people and I especially hated when they came into my room and sat on my couch. Dr. Patel and Mum were the only ones who were allowed to sit on my couch and they weren’t allowed to sit on my side. Mum said that I like things the way I do because of my condition. I don’t like to talk about my condiition but I know I do things differently to other people. I went to a different school to the other children and Mum never let me play with the other children on the estate. I didn’t like the word condition. Dad never called it a condition. He says that I am the way I am and thats the way it is. Sometimes, I really miss Dad. The next morning Dr. Patel came into my room with cupcakes. She knew I liked chocolate chip so she always bought one large chocolate chip cupcake for me and a smaller blueberry one for herself from Marys coffee shop on Thursday mornings. I had already set out the chessboard so it was ready for us to begin straight away. I was always the white pieces so I places my favourite chair on the side they were on. I informed her that this would be our 67th match and that I had won every single game prior to this. Dr. Patel smiled and said:
‘you’re such a show off’’.
I smiled too. I knew Dr. Patel was only joking and that she didn’t really think I was a show off. Our game of chess didn’t last very long. I won for the 67th time. Dr. Patel laughed and said:
‘I don’t think i’ll ever beat you’.
After the game, we sat down on the couch to watch TV while we ate our cupcakes. That’s when a very big man with a long coat came in behind Adam. (Adam was the one who brought food to peoples rooms). The big mans hair was combed back and he smelled like shaving foam.
‘Heyya kiddo’.
He ruffled my hair which upset me because I read in a book that there are hundreds of bacteria living on a persons hand. This is why I never shook anyones hand. Dr. Patel smiled at me said goodbye. The man with the long coat sat down on the couch which made a loud noise. The man was very fat and I was afraid that he might break the couch but I didn’t say anything because you aren’t meant to call people fat. The man glanced at the chess board which was still on the table.
‘Chess hey?You any good?’
‘Yes’ I answered. ‘I’ve won 1,547 times in total’.
‘Woh, I used to play as a kid but I wasn’t as good as you’.
The man took off his long coat and put it on the opposite end of the couch. I wasn’t happy about the man breaking the couch rules but I knew that he was a police officer and police officers are allowed to do things that other people are not.
‘So, do you know who I am Peter?’
I told the man that i didn’t. The man laughed which I couldn’t understand as nobody made a joke. My name is Patrick. I’m a detetive. He put his hand out for me to shake it but I didn’t take it. I told him about the number of bacteria on a persons hands. The fat man asked a few more rather silly questions before getting up to leave. He reached his hand out again but pulled it away.
‘Sorry kiddo, I forgot’.
He winked at me and left. The man said he’d be coming back in a few weeks to speak to me again which I found to be completely unnecessary. I still couldn’t understand why he was coming at all. A detetives job is to solve crimes but everyone already knows that I killed by father. What was the point in him. I thought that maybe he was avery bad detetice and that the only way he could figure out who comitted a crime was if it was already dicovered.
Every Thursday, everyone in the hospital went on a trip. Today, we would be going to the zoo. I like the zoo even though there aren’t any sheep. On the way to the zoo I sat beside Ronan. I wanted to sit beside Billy but he had to go in the special van with his wheelchair. I didn’t like Ronan as much as I liked Billy. Sometimes, when Ronan got angry, he would shout and scream and this would make me upset. I always sat beside the window. I liked looking out at the trees and people walking their dog. It was a very sunny day and it was nearly 24 degrees. The bus did not have air conditioning so it was very warm and stuffy. Some of the other people on the bus were getting quite noisy and Dr. Patel had to sit beside Adil because he was crying. We arrived at the zoo at 22 minutes past 12. It was still very sunny and warm. Dr. Patel and Simon bought the tickets for everyone from the smiling lady behind the counter. Giraffes are my second favourite animal after sheep so I wanted to see them first. Simon said we had to listen to what everyone wanted and everyone else wanted to see the snakes. I don’t like snakes because some are poisinous and can kill a fully grown man with one bite and boa consticters can choke you to death. The snake house was very warm and there was a lot of people making a lot of noise. A boy was knocking on the window of the snake house, a baby was crying and children were running. I knew that I was getting upset and sometimes I do silly things when I get upset. Dad said the best thing to do when I feel myself getting upset is to go somewhere by myself. I know my Dad is dead but he’s still my Dad and you’re supposed to do what your Dad tells you. I walked out the door of the snake house and I could feel the colder hair on my skin.It was nice after being so warm for so long but I didn’t stop after I left the snake house. My eyes and my brain stopped working but my legs kept moving. I ran and ran until I started feeling very warm again and I was breathing very fast….
When I opened my eyes I couldn’t see the snake house. I couldn’t see Simon and I couldn’t see Dr. Patel. Sometimes, new places can make me scared but this place was not scary. My heart stopped beating so fast and my brain and my eyes started to work again. I could see gorillas and hippos and even giraffes. The gorillas and the hippos were behind the enclosures but the giraffes…….were not. There was one very tall Giraffe which must have been the mother and one much smaller giraffe which must have been the calve. The calve wasn’t walking very well. He kept stubbling and the mother giraffe was trying to keep her steady but it wasn’t working. The calve fell over and did not move. Sometimes,I get a bad feeling in my stomach that makes my whole body feel bad and I could sense that feeling now. The mother giraffe kept licking the calve but that wasn’t working either. He lay on the ground very still. The mother giraffe stood still too. Tears were running down my cheek and I could feel my whole body shaking. I waited and waited and waited and the mother giraffe waited and waited and waited but nothing happended……..until..the calve moved. He managed to stand on his two front feet. You could see that he was working very hard to get his back legs up and the mother giraffe was standing very close…..and then…..HE DID GET UP. He started to move very slowly and awkwardly along the ground but looked much more solid than before. With each step the calve took, he looked more and more sure. Soon, he started to run and run and the mother Giraffe started to run and run and the bad feeling in my stomach…..turned into a good feeling!There was lots of people at the zoo today and that meant it was very noisy but I couldn’t hear any noise. My body started to feel warm on the inside and I didn’t feel scared or worried anymore. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see a very sweaty man looking at me.
‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing???’
I didn’t answere the man. Normally, people shouting and touching me made me upset but I wasn’t upset. I felt good inside. He pulled me by my t-shirt out of the enclosure and brought me to a room not far away. The man said that I was lucky that he didn’t get the police involved. A much nicer lady gave me a glass of water and I sat down in the room on a red couch. I thought a lot about the mother giraffe and the calve and how the mother giraffe stayed with the calve even when he was on the ground. My eyes were tired and my body ached. The couch was very comfortable and I could feel my head getting heavier and heavier. ……………
I could see my Fathers blue eyes staring down at me. He looked different. He looked happier. I couldn’t see where we were but I felt warm inside. I loved my father and I missed him very much. Mum used to get angry at me for doing things she didn’t like. Dad would always take me into a different room and tell me he loved me and that I was good. I could see where we were now. We were in my old room where we used to live. My toys were in a basket in the corner. The old TV that had only two channels was there too. I could even smell the old wooden bookshelf where we kept all the books. Dad had his hand on my shoulder and he was telling me that it was going to be okay. I was crying but I didn’t know why. Dad knew I hated hugging so he never hugged me. He just kept his hand on my shoulder and kept telling me that i was a good boy and that he was proud of me. A tear rolled down his face.
‘Peter, Peter??’
Dr. Patel was here. Her face was pale amd she wasn’t smiling like she usually is. She looked at me for a long time and I thought that she might be very angry at me but she hugged me and didn’t let go for a very long time.
‘Peter, I was so worried about you!’
I didn’t mean to make Dr. Patel worried.
‘I’m sorry’
She smiled at me.
‘Let’s go home, okay?’
‘okay’.
The rest of the hospital had already went back with Simon so me and Dr. Patel got a taxi. I taught a lot about the giraffes and the dream about my father on the way home. I wondered when the man with the long coat would be coming back to talk about the night I killed my father. I thought about my mother and how she got angry at me and my father and even Louise sometimes.
The sun was shining bright the next day and there was pancakes for breakfast. Fridays were a visitors day and because Mum was my only visitor, it was always her. Today though, Mum didn’t come. This time, it was Eddie and Louise. Louise smiled at me.
I remember the day we last saw eachother. It was a Wednesday and raining. We were in a huge courtroom. I was standing beside the judges table and a short, fat balding man who was wearing a suit far too big for him was asking me questions. Louise was sitting down beside Eddie and Mageret, Dads parents. I told told the short, fat balding man that I killed my father. Louise started crying very loudly. Eddie and Mageret both had very red eyes and Mageret had a hankerchief in her hand. Eddie took Louise out but Magerert stayed and blew into her hankerchief. Mum was there too but she wasn’t crying and she didn’t have red eyes. She just sat very still and said nothing.
‘Hey Pete’
Eddie tried to give me a hug but I backed away beacuse ,as everyone should know by now, I hate hugging. Both Eddie and Louise looked very different compared to the last time I saw them. Louise was much taller and had glasses. Eddies hair was much greyer and he had more wrinkles. I said this to him and he laughed. I don’t know why he laughed as I certainly wasn’t joking. I just presumed he didn’t have a mirror in his house. They asked me several rather stupid questions about what I did at the hospital and where I went. I don’t know why they even bothered coming if all they wanted to know was what fillm I seen last Wednesday. We sat and said nothing for 10 minutes which was certainly an improvement on the stupid questions. Finally, Eddie began to speak. I was hoping he was just going to say goodbye so I could watch Countdown but he didn’t.
‘So, ……..ah Peter..you remember your grandmother Mageret don’t you?’
I told him I did but that I wasn’t supposed to call her my grandmother.
‘I’m afraid………….’
Eddie sniffed so I moved further away from him.
‘….thats she’s very ill’
Eddie began to cry quite loudly so I turned the TV volume up. Louise gave Eddie a hug. I told her that she shouldn’t do that as she might catch Eddies cold. She didn’t reply which I taught was rather stupid of her.
‘I know this is very hard for you to understand Pete but granny is very sick and won’t be around for much longer.
It wasn’t very hard for me to understand at all. Eileen was very old so it was not very surprising news. Eddie sat down with his head in his hands on MY SIDE of the couch. I was about to tell him that he wasn’t allowed to sit there but I remember the Giraffes and how the Mother Giraffe was kind to the calve and supported the calve when he was lying on the ground. I thought that, maybe, if I was kind to Eddie,he might feel better and he might get off the couch.
‘It’s going to be okay, Grandad’
Eddie looked up at me and smiled. He was still crying but his face looked much happier. I know that Mum told me not to call him Grandad but he really was my Grandad so it didn’t make sense to lie.
‘Thanks, Pete’
Eddie stood up from the couch and put his hand on my shoulder.
‘I know you didn’t hurt your Da’.
Over the next few months, things changed a lot. The man with the long coat came several more times until one day, he patted me on the back and said that I was a good kid really.That was the last time I saw him. I went to the big court room again and I told another short, fat balding man what happened but this time I remembered a bit more. I didn’t see Mum anymore after that and apparently, I didn’t kill my father either. I don’t like things changing very much but Eddie and Louise have been very kind to me and I still see Billy and I still see Dr. Patel.
My name is Peter. I am 23 years old. I have one sister and no brothers. I live in a room with a big Tv but not too big and a light blue couch because light blue is my favourite colour. I don’t like people touching me and I don’t like loud noises. My doctors name is Dr. Patel. On Wednesdays, she brings cupcakes she buys from Mary’s shop. A big chocolate chip muffin for me and a smaller blueberry one for herself. Sometimes, Eddie and Louise take me to the zoo or the cinema. When I was 22 years old I was found innocent of killing my father and that’s why I live with my Grandad and sister,
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